Surgeon General’s Warning: Is Known To Cause Radioactive Superpowers

To me, a super hero is not only someone who does the amazing, but does it easily. Superman’s not super because he can lift a car—I’ve seen a guy lift a car before—Superman’s impressive because he lifts a car without effort. Superman wouldn’t seem so super if he strained with every feat of strength, blew a hernia every-now-and-again and had to take a week off from superheroing.

My superpower, what I make look asininely simple, is not getting fat. Sure, everybody and their brother knows how to help someone lose fat, and I know how to make fat loss simpler than the next guy, but my ability to eat whatever I want, almost seemingly as often as I want without adding body fat astonishes everyone, almost as if I picked up a car and threw it four blocks. And think about it: how much more super could you be than eating whatever you want without getting fat.

I’m more like The Hulk than Superman—I had to acquire my super ability—which means I can pass it on to others.  Assemble the list of necessary items before reading further: a gamma-ray source, femto-second-pulse control circuit, a solid-state red-laser source (you can strip this from the guts of your CD player; blue is okay if all you have is a BluRay player) and a little bit of lead shielding to protect your pets—trust me, you don’t want a chinchilla with superpowers.

Caution: Avoid anyone of childbearing years for a few weeks after performing this procedure. You’ll be emitting low-grade radiation that may cause sterility in others.

Continued reading without first acquiring a gamma-ray source, didn’t you? Doesn’t matter: all you really need is a little discipline and a spin cycle or a track.

No one in this industry talks about how carbs get turned into fat and everyone seems to accept it on faith that it just happens. But something has to convert carbs into fats; that something is an enzyme called fatty acid synthase (FAS), which is the main carb-to-fat converting enzyme in the body. If we eliminate FAS, or lower levels significantly, then excess carbs from eating ice cream, cookies or cake can’t be stored as fat[1-3].

We’re going to take a radically different approach. Instead of the hormone-focused road of fat-loss gurus, we’re going to target the body’s enzymatic system and avoid getting fat in the first place.


Forgot the lead shielding, huh? Now your chinchilla is using his mind-control powers to seduce your girlfriend. I warned you…

Superpower Development Step 1: Go Ultra-Low Carb

Some of you may already be developing your super powers as you’re reading this because one way to stop the production of FAS is to stop eating carbohydrates. It takes three to four days without eating carbs, but once you’re over this hump, the body shuts down FAS production[4]. This is why with The Carb Nite® Solution (CNS), foods like donuts and pastries can’t cause fat gain. The extended no-carb periods between carb feedings stops the production of FAS causing the body to waste all that sugary-goodness as heat instead of storing it as fat.  This is also why I recommend a carb-depleting phase when beginning Carb Back-Loading™.

It might seem that, void of FAS after a week of no carbs, you can eat carbs for an entire day. This is the wishful thinking of diet writers who failed to do their homework. The problem here is that within about 4 hours of eating carbs, the body skyrockets production of FAS making it possible to once again store fat[4].

I optimized Carb Nite to take this into account: it takes 6 hours of elevated insulin levels to kick-start fat burning hormones, so there’s a 2 hour overlap where carbs could, potentially be stored as fat, but as the body is also trying to restore glycogen reserves, you won’t gain fat. Compare this with all-day variants that suggest literally gorging from morning until evening: even if the weekday portion of the diet is low-carb, you will be storing fat for 9 to 10 hours of the day instead of not-at-all.


Superpower Development Step 2: Do Cardio

This one sucks. Cardio, undoubtedly decreases the production of FAS[5-9], one reason that endurance athletes can eat so many carbs and stay thin (the key word here is stay, because cardio devastates the metabolism and increases the ease of getting fat, as I explain here). But there is a way to get all the metabolic and enzymatic effects of cardio without the fat-inducing, muscle-destroying side effects: high-intensity interval training (HIIT)[10-17].

The problem with HIIT is all the different prescriptions. There’s sprint interval training (SIT), fartlek, standard HIIT, and my own creation, segmented sprint-endurance training™ (SSET), a radical fat-shredding version. Each acronym defines a high-output segment that specifies duration and intensity level, and an active-rest period. Different prescriptions amplify different goals. As we’re only concerned with stopping the production of fatty acid synthase, the simplest, lowest volume version works: 30 seconds of 100% power output separated by 2 to 4 minutes of active-recovery.

This is not what I meant by “spin cycle.”

Choose the rest period on how long it takes to regain breath control. If you’re still catching your breath after 2 minutes of recovery, then keep resting as long as needed or until 4 minutes total is up. Then hit it again. And rest means rest—you should be pedaling at a ridiculously easy rate. Remember, it’s the rest period, so rest.

Perform 6 to 8 bouts of this prescription but no more, and not more than 30 minutes total. I highly recommend using a spin bike. It’s easier on the knees and easier to go from 100% to pedaling at a super-slow rate. Wind-sprints on a track work as well, with easy walking for recovery. You’re probably thinking it already, so I’ll just warn you: the treadmill and elliptical suck for trying to hit 100% power output in 30 second bursts. Three times per week is plenty.

Incidentally, HIIT is the perfect type of fat-burning cardio on an ultra-low carb diet like Carb Nite.


Radioactivity Sold Separately

Sorry to say, this won’t make you radioactive, give you the ability to clear tall buildings in a single bound, out run bullets or seduce the opposite sex with chinchilla mind-control powers, but it will let you piss off your friends every time you gorge on a hamburger and fries, followed by a pizza that you finish off with a dozen cookies because the next day, you’ll look jacked, not fat. To me, there is no greater power in this world than carefree eating while looking like a superhero all year round.



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